2009 Heisman Race and the game where you can’t root against either team

“The Heisman Memorial Trophy annually recognizes the outstanding college football player whose performance best exhibits the pursuit of excellence with integrity. Winners epitomize great ability combined with diligence, perseverance, and hard work.”
—-http://www.heisman.com/trust/mission_statement.php

That could not be more fucking vague, and that’s a big reason why nobody has any idea who should or is going to win it.  It didn’t help that the top candidates from the first-half of the year didn’t pan out as well as expected.  Tebow looked human, McCoy played bullshit teams and then got tossed around in the Big 12 championship and Ingram had a few off games.  These five were invited to the ceremony with Suh being the last addition.

Toby “Our Last Great White Hope” Gerhart: Leads the nation in rushing yards (1,736) and touchdowns (26). In Stanford’s five games against the nation’s top 40 rush defenses, he averaged 140 yards and three touchdowns per game.  Not being on a great team will hurt him, but he ran pretty well even in the losses, just 2 games with under 100yds rushing.
As a person, according to various fawning ESPN reports, these are the many things we supposedly know about Toby Gerhart:  He is indeed white, yet still somehow fast, has either a smoking hot girlfriend or is banging Jen Brown from College Gameday, and will almost certainly discover the cure for cancer or male pattern baldness as soon as his short, but certainly lauded, NFL career has petered out.  Everything he touches turns to a deep rich mahogany and he has been known to impregnate women over 10 miles away just by looking at their facebook pictures. In short, yes, he is the next Most Interesting Man in the World. Hopefully he’ll pick a better beer than Dos Equis

Mark “The Bammer Rammer” Ingram: The stud offensive player on the best team in the nation, which is usually argument enough to take the Heisman.  Ingram’s only game against a top 40 rush defense team was last week against Florida, though he of course did dominate (thanks in large part to the new passing game).  1,542 rushing yards, 15 touchdowns and a 6.2 yd/attempt average.  Pretty damn good, though not as gaudy as some were expecting.  Part of it is Saban’s offensive style which is more about strangling the opponent to death rather than bludgeoning them with touchdowns but either way he shined against Florida.  He has to be one of the true favorites for having at least a very solid overall season with the best team in the country.

Ndamukong Suh–(No nickname necessary as his first name literally means “House of Motherfucking Spears”)
He almost singlehandedly brought the Texas offense to destruction last Saturday night.  FOUR sacks, 12 tackles and a whole lot of unstoppable pressure up the middle all night long.  He was an absolute force. Watching his highlight tape from that game is mesmerizing, he played at a ridiculous level. (Video is here
That game was an exceptional performance, even for Suh. There is no denying that he has been dominant all year and the absolute anchor for the Nebraska offense. However it was his only game with more than one sack in the season. He should be an absolute monster in the NFL and he dominated people in college this year but his performance throughout the season did not scream heisman until the coverage at the big game.  His regular season stats were 82 tackles, 13 sacks and 1 interception.  An incredible season for a D-line, but the most outstanding player in CFB throughout the entire season…..?

Timothy “Football Jesus” Tebow: Considering his 2009 stats he is really only on the finalist board for overall career performance, his highly lauded “leadership skills” and because he makes the NASCAR God-Country crowd cream their pants. The beating he took against Alabama really hurt his chances and worked against the whole “he carries his team” argument.   If the Heisman voters are the true men they claim to be his turning on the salty tears faucet at the end of the game should have hurt his chances at well. damn you for making me almost feel bad for someone from the state of Florida!!!  Some Florida fan will say “…but he just cares so much…” uggh.  If he wins, it will be for 2007-2008.

Colt “I’m here to fix your leaky pipes, Ma’am” McCoy: This was supposed to be Colt’s year.  Tebow had his shot as a sophomore, Bradford took it last year and many (myself included) thought Colt would be the front runner in 2009.  He was literally tossed around the field by Suh last week and almost looked like the biggest dofus in the history of the game.   A four year starter his stats were still better last year (more yards & TDs, less picks, and better completion percentage).  If Texas’ offense had lit up Nebraska last week he’d almost certainly be the front runner.  Hard to see it now.

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Army vs Navy: (Saturday’s only game) It’s the one game of the year where you really can’t root against either team unless you were in one service or the other.  Army will take it again, I guess.  If only because they are more established with a clear division of labor around the team.  You just know all the best angry players on the Navy team are future Marines and all of them would refuse to play anything but linebacker.  Makes for a pretty unbalanced squad if you ask me.  Not good for a team sport.

Pax!

Week 14-CFB- Armageddon!—-it’s long and ‘ranty’…my apologies

Found this site below with links to download an automatic and updating bowl schedule for this season, including the championship games this week.  Has links to Outlook, Google Calendar and iCalc (Apple?)  Anyways, if you need to plan and optimize your college football gorge-fest these holidays around boring family events this shows you what’s coming up.
http://www.davidgagne.net/2009/11/10/2009%E2%80%932010-ical-college-bowl-schedule/

This is the week it all shakes out for the BCS.  Here’s hoping for chaos!

THURSDAY
Oregon St. @ Oregon: The “Civil War” that matters for the first time in….well, probably a shit long time.  The winner gets a trip to the Rose Bowl to face the Sweater-Vests. Oregon is clearly superior in terms of offensive weaponry but that shootout 2 weeks ago against Arizona has to be troubling.  The Beavers have had a solid season and have been on a roll the past few weeks putting up some big points against respectable teams.  The edge has to be given to Oregon for their more flashy talent and overall body of work (cough, Stanford, cough).  This will not be a defensive struggle so it should be fun to watch and there is a lot on the line.

FRIDAY
AC/DC live at River Plate Stadium, Buenos Aires, Argentina. You better believe. 

(link includes extra explosions!)

SATURDAY
Cincinnati @ Pittsburgh: The “Best team in Ohio*” versus the ‘Stache. Pitt shitting the bed last week against WV took some of the shine of this matchup but it is still the de facto Big East Championship…./makes wanking motion with hand and crotch.  All that really impresses me about Pitt is that they have a pretty sick d-line so if they can beat the shit out of Tony Pike they’ll obviously have a shot.  Blah blah blah, this is the game you’ll have on while maybe getting some shit done before the serious drinking and football watching begins.  Could be a great game, but I’ll be turning it on in 3rd-4th quarter.  (* May not actually be the best team in Ohio)

William & Mary @ Southern Illinois: This came up on the schedule.  Have no idea what it is, a playoff round, end of season random ass matchup?  That said, its about as close as we’re going to get to what would be, for this group, the EPIC matchup between William & Mary and Northern Illinois.  Talk amongst yourselves.  /Yawn

Florida vs. Alabama: ARMAGEDDON! (I’m sure Daniel can provide the necessary soundtrack to that reference) Before I say anything else a disclaimer, I HATE Florida.  In fact I hate ALL teams from Florida.  It’s hard not to like Tebow aka Football Jesus, but I make the effort.  Whenever I find myself caught up in some college gameday schmooze story about how great Tebow is I try to imagine having the opportunity to interview him.  I would ask what he thinks about dinosaurs, evolution and how old he reckons the earth is.  His response would probably be something along the lines “the dinosaurs are a faggy myth perpetuated by the Jews and loose women.” Knowing this makes me feel better and more confident in my disliking of him.  Stupid fundamentalist Christian, go back to your wonderful life of scoring touchdowns, inspiring children to believe in themselves and not nailing ridiculously hot coeds I would never have a chance with.  Bastard.   I digress, but point is I hate teams from Florida even if Jesus is on their side.
—-Florida is the favorite for obvious reasons.  Though they’ve been nowhere nearly as dominant as last year they had less hiccups than Alabama with only the Arkansas game being truly close.  For Alabama to win their RB Ingram will have to have a big game.  Auburn stacked the box last week against him and he suffered, one can only imagine that the cannibal Brandon Spikes and the Florida D will be doing the same, but better.  That said, McElroy showed some grit last week that should give ‘Bama fans some hope.  If he can keep Florida’s defense honest with those play-action passes to Julius Jones then Ingram could get the space he needs.  Badass and notorious drunk Florida defensive end Dunlap will miss the game for dumbassery, so that should help McElroy sleep a little sounder.
Alabama is in the exact same position they were last year against a Florida team that is nowhere near as dominant.  The onus will be on Bama’s D to control Tebow and Florida and Ingram to have a Heisman-worthy performance.  Tight and low scoring games give Nick Saban wet dreams and Bama knows how to win them.   Here’s hoping Meyer and the Gators are still too emotional and weepy eyed over Timmy leaving to bring their A game.

Texas vs. Nebraska: This one is simple.  If the Nebraska Blackshirts can keep McCoy and the Texas offense from totally controlling the game early on then they will have a chance.  Nebraska’s offense is pretty pitiful so this one is strictly on their defense.  If the score is low the Huskers will have a chance if not, this one could get ugly.  I will be a huge Husker fan this Saturday.  A Texas upset is the only shot TCU has at making it into the National Championship and my morning wood over the past few weeks has been the product of dreams about Mila Kunis and a TCU vs. Alabama national championship game.  Go Nebraska!

Georgia Tech vs. Clemson: One of these teams will be going to a BCS game, probably the Orange Bowl so you can at least pretend to care.  /yawns, scratches self.

Wisconsin @ Hawaii: Will only be watched by those with insomnia and Chinese aficionados of the pigskin Sunday morning  John is the real expert for this matchup after his Hawaii football vacation a couple months ago but I’d say Wisconsin should probably roll.  Then again, they will basically be on vacation without a care and Hawaii needs the win to be bowl eligible for the ….wait for it…Hawaii Bowl.   What a fucking joke.

Ok well, that’s the accumulation of all the thoughts I’ve had about pretty much everything over the last week.  I apologize.

T.V.!!!!!!! (All times in the Eastern “Hipster” Timezone)

Oregon St. at Oregon	ESPN HD	Dec 3 2009 9:00PM
Cincinnati at Pittsburgh	ABC HD	Dec 5 2009 12:00PM
William & Mary at Southern Illinois	ESPN Plus	Dec 5 2009 12:00PM
SEC Championship
Florida vs. Alabama	CBS HD	Dec 5 2009 4:00PM
Big 12 Championship
Texas vs Nebraska	ABC HD	Dec 5 2009 8:00PM
ACC Championship
Georgia Tech vs. Clemson	ESPN HD	Dec 5 2009 8:00PM
Wisconsin at Hawaii	ESPN2 HD	Dec 5 2009 11:30PM

Week 13-CFB-Thanksgiving-The best way to commemorate the slaughter of the native americans is with bloodsports and swine flu

Why I’ll be rooting for Oklahoma over OSU this week. http://tinyurl.com/yjceln2

“The BCS bowl lineup with an OSU loss:
BCS National Championship: Florida/Alabama vs. Texas
Sugar Bowl: Florida/Alabama vs. TCU
Fiesta Bowl: Iowa/Penn State vs. Boise State
Orange Bowl: Cincinnati/Pittsburgh vs. Georgia Tech/Clemson
Rose Bowl: Oregon/Oregon State vs. Ohio State”

A legit breakdown of the most likely BCS matchups which depend more upon that Bedlam matchup in Oklahoma than any other single game remaining.  A win by the Sooners should bump Boise up into the BCS mix (probably against #2 in the Big Ten which would be interesting) and pit what I think is a great TCU squad against the loser of the SEC championship.  Overall I think the matchups are more intriguing if that’s the outcome.

A very solid week of rival games and some matchups that are more exciting this year than anyone could have guessed in August.  All around not a bad slate for the holiday weekend.

THURSDAY
Texas @ Texas A&M: You’ll know in the first quarter if this is going to be worth watching or not.  If they got up a touchdown on Texas at home in College Station, A&M might have a chance to make it interesting.  But only because this year and historically they have been dangerous at home.  More likely outcome, blowout.

FRIDAY
Alabama @ Auburn: A dangerous game for ‘Bama but not one they are likely to overlook.  The Iron Bowl usually does go to the favorite or stronger team each year.  Over the past decade or so Auburn has had their number but ‘Bama pounded them last year to finish out a perfect regular season.  Auburn has a better squad this year but it is unlikely to be enough.  ‘Bama won’t blow them out b/c they play too tight but they should control the game.

Pitt @ West Virginia: Another very dangerous game for Pitt coming off the big win last week and look ahead to the conference championship against Cincy (who has Illinois this week).  A fun year for the backyard brawl and I think WV will play them tough and could definitely take them if they come in hot and Pitt is distracted or still floating from last week.  Fuck the Wan’stache, let’s go Mountaineers!

SATURDAY
Ok. State @ Oklahoma: I already laid out above why this game is so much more important than the media coverage and pundits will talk about.  Obviously not much sex appeal here, lots of Oklahoma chicks so expect cheerleaders with some hefty thighs, but sporadic OU may decide to come play and they obviously still roll with some sick talent.  Just don’t expect Coach Gundy, who is now 42 years-old and still a Man, to not get his guys fired up.  No one would have picked this to be a game to watch in the beginning of the season but now it is huge.

Arkansas @ LSU: More intriguing just to see how Miles recovers after whatever the hell it was that happened against Ole Miss last week.  With “The Hat” trying to pull aces out of his ass pretty regularly you had to figure that at some point one of them was going to come out covered in shit.  Well, that’s what spiking the ball with one second to go in the game on the 7-yard line when you can still win looks like.  Arkansas is another mid-level team that has been beat up in the SEC from a rough schedule, (losses to ‘Bama, Florida and Ole Miss).  Ryan Mallet is pretty sick at QB but the defense has been just awful for much of the season.

Notre Dame @ Stanford: Even if to just feast upon the schadenfreude-dispensing machine that has been Charlie Weis this year, this is a matchup to watch.  Stanford and the “last great white RB hope” Toby Gerhart still have plenty to prove and the Irish have to be about as demoralized as a group of egotistical blue-chip recruits can be.  Maybe they pull one out for the Obese Gipper in what is almost certainly his last game but Stanford should come motivated as hell.

UCLA @ USC: Weasly Rick Neuheisel just has to be smelling blood in the water on this one.  This is his great chance to bloody and finish UCLA’s cross-town rival.  USC still obviously has the superior athletes but they have fallen apart this season.  I’m sure a decent amount of that has to do with being a young-ish team but I think it was both the offensive and defensive coordinators leaving last year that has really fucked Pete Carrol.  Either way I’m all for another team jumping on their back and driving them to the ground.  Might as well get their shots in while they can.  They’ll be back on the receiving end soon enough.

Other news: Sent early this week because Billy whined about not having enough time to punch-type his responses back because Bob is making him go to family stuff this weekend rather than sit at home, watch football and jerk off to anime porn for 3 days.  The Providence Catholic High School is heading to the Illinois State Finals this week to play someone; so is Marist, now that they are co-ed and have something to play for (burners from their chunky g/fs).  The Illinois Wesleyan Fightin’ Titans have also advanced to the second round of the D3 playoffs to play some Wisconsin team.  —That sums up the recent successes of teams for whom I once played at a mediocre to poor level.

Happy gorging and football viewing:

Texas at Texas A&M	ESPN HD	Nov 26 2009 8:00PM
Alabama at Auburn	CBS HD	Nov 27 2009 2:30PM
Pittsburgh at West Virginia	ESPN2 HD	Nov 27 2009 7:00PM
Oklahoma St. at Oklahoma	FSN HD	Nov 28 2009 12:30PM
Arkansas at LSU	ESPN HD	Nov 28 2009 7:00PM
Notre Dame at Stanford	ABC HD/ESPN2	Nov 28 2009 8:00PM
UCLA at USC	FSN HD	Nov 28 2009 10:00PM

Week 12-CFB-’So y’all might as well bow down..And join this westside thing’–Pac 10 represents

This week has a decidedly West-coast bias as far as good games go and this may not be a fleeting trend.  While it’s hard to dispute that the SEC remains on top of the College Football heap it’s not hard to envision the rise of the West in general over the next few years.  Quite simply the Pac 10 is looking like a hell of stronger conference throughout than they ever have (even with USC down in the gutters) while the Mountain West/Boise State etc mid-majors have been shocking some solid teams the past couple years.  If the non-USC teams of the Pac 10 can maintain a strong level of play (Oregon, Cal, OSU and sometimes Stanford) than the conference could really rise in profile and importance relative to the other major conferences.
Likewise, if the Mountain West expands next year to take in Boise State. Fresno St and Nevada it will be impossible to deny them a rightfully deserved automatic BCS bid.  None of this may come to pass but I think it will be an interesting trend to watch out for.  It won’t affect the SEC as much but for Midwesterners it may sadly come at the cost of a further drain on and decline of the Big Ten (the conference has lacked offensive innovation more than anything).  Anyways, that is my rant.  You can agree or disagree, either way I’ll probably still hold all of you in possession of real televisions to watch games on this Saturday in mild contempt.

On to the games!

Ohio State @ Michigan: Is there any chance of this being a good game??? I say yes, but only with maximum hesitation and knowledge that I can delete this email to destroy some of the evidence later.  This game is always dangerous when the teams are unbalanced and I’m still not all that impressed with Ohio State and the offensively boring play calling by Tressel (or whoever) on offense. Michigan has shat the bed every week during conference play and there is no real reason to think they will do any different this week.  The only hope is that RichRod gets his young players fired up enough to bloody the big dull nose of the Buckeyes to further diminish the Big Ten’s reputation before the bowls begin.

William & Mary Tribe @ Richmond Spiders:  These two one loss teams are meeting up (both lost close ones to Villanova) in what we’ve all been informed is a highly anticipated matchup. And hey, for Comcast to pick up a CAA game there has to be something to it.  At least on paper they are very similar looking teams so I’ll leave it to Daniel and Jimmy to provide the details and what should be expected. Go Tribe, the fighting Colonel Ebirts, Pochantas and ‘Tribe Guy’, …all of ‘em!!

Northern Illinois @ Ohio: Fearful of sparking another Husky versus Colonel skirmish I am including the NIU matchup against this Ohio school.  I’ll defer to John and Mark for any game description or analysis as necessary. Regardless, Go Huskies!

Wabash College @ The Illinois Wesleyan University: 1st Round of DivIII Championship- The 9-win CCIW champion Fightin’ and sometimes Mighty IWU Titans take on Wabash’s supposedly lauded aerial attack (I’m sure some sports beat writer somewhere once lauded it).  I really have no idea or prediction about this game.  Just wonder if the Titan’s fearless Head Coach’s Al Gore-like persona will be enough to steel the backs of the young Titan squad against the Wabashers.  I guess this is an improvement over the usual scenario because I do remember back when I was on the team some older players joking about being lucky not making it to the playoffs so we wouldn’t get curb-stomped by the perennially strong Mount Union team.  So, Go Titans….! (?)

Connecticut @ Notre Dame: aka “The Charlie Weis Watch”- It’s not a basketball game so you’d think that Chuck and the luckless Irish should be able to pull this one out before facing Stanford next week.  But who knows.  I don’t give the Huskies a chance unless the supposed offensive genius, and proud owner of a Fat Bastard suit, Charlie Weis somehow gets ‘outschemed’ again by a laughably undersized and less talented team.  (See Navy vs Notre Dame, circa 2 weeks ago)

LSU @ Ole Miss: The only real SEC game worth mentioning this week (No Billy, the Vols playing the Commodores is NOT interesting).  The middle of the SEC has been infinitely more interesting to watch this season than most of the ‘Bama/Florida games, with some exceptions. LSU is still probably overrated but their only losses are against the two undefeated SEC teams so that gives them enough legitimacy and Ole Miss is coming off a stomping of Tennessee last week.  Could be interesting.

Air Force @ BYU: BYU is a strong favorite in this one and has dominated the Falcons in the past 5 years or so but Air Force’s running game is worth watching and BYU may be looking ahead to Utah the following week. Here’s to hoping the Air Force pummels those Mormons and their multiple nagging wives, crazy wooden shoes and jibberish talk.  (Sometimes I confuse Mormons with the Dutch, who are also a distasteful people)

Cal @ Stanford: Possibly the best matchup of the week.  Stanford will have to work hard not to have a let-down after the orgasmically awesome throat-stomping they delivered to Pete Carroll and the Trojans last week. (I need to pause here for a minute just to relish the memory…) And Cal should be over its annual mid-season slump fest and be playing decent football again.  I hope I’m wrong but I think Harbaugh’s team will be playing more like mortals this week and this should be a good one.  Daniel, got tickets?  Any local scoop?  Complete nerd fest?

Oregon @ Arizona: Supposedly the key game for the Pac 10 and in deciding who goes to the Rose Bowl to play the mighty Ohio Sweater Vests.  From what I understand, if Oregon wins they are pretty much a lock in for the title with only 1 conference loss.  If they lose then it comes down to a complicated equation and game theory scenario that Casey will probably have to explain.  Arizona had a tough loss to Cal last week but they might come pumped to throw a wrench into the works, which the College Football Gods look favorably upon. We may also get to see the return of LaGarrett “The Punisher” Blount who will probably be in cuffs or with a State Trooper at the end of the game regardless to prevent any mischief.

Hit ‘Reply All’ to get the ball rolling this week.  Who knows, we may even get beyond mascots and underage girls who don’t speak English.  (but probably not)

Your slingbox/52-inch HD plasma viewing schedule:

Ohio St. at Michigan	ABC HD	Nov 21 2009 12:00PM
William & Mary at Richmond	Comcast Network	Nov 21 2009 12:00PM
Connecticut at Notre Dame	NBC HD	Nov 21 2009 2:30PM
LSU at Ole Miss	CBS HD	Nov 21 2009 3:30PM
Air Force at BYU	CBS College HD	Nov 21 2009 3:30PM
California at Stanford	Versus HD	Nov 21 2009 7:30PM
Oregon at Arizona	ABC HD	Nov 21 2009 8:00PM

Week 11-CFB-Horned Frogs, Minotaurs, Bearcats and Stanford’ites…and it’s not even a game of Dungeons & Dragons, sorry Billy…

Plenty of interesting games this week so Brendan should have no excuse to bitch about only having a couple games to talk about.  On the other hand he will be back freezing his flag off in Chicago while I am still in BsAs playing “Cougar or Cub?” (See, it’s where you are walking down the street and a see cute girl at either a distance or from behind and try to guess if they are Argie Cougars or really more college-ag….nevermind).
Digression aside, its a pretty solid week of matchups.  This weekend can go a long was as to sorting out the Big Ten and Pac-10 and we’ll get to see how both Cincy and TCU handle some tougher opponents.  As always, let me know if I missed a good one (John’s Northern Huskies or Daniel’s Tribe, big matchup against Richmond in a week, no?).

THURSDAY:
USF @ Rutgers: Rutgers knocked off USF two years ago when South Florida was (stupidly) ranked #2 in the country.  They’ve actually had their number for the past several years so supposedly the south Florida Minotaur-like mascot has his panties in a bunch about this one.  This may also be an important game for the Big East title.  To be honest, I don’t give a shit.  I literally forget at least once a month during the season that the Big East is even a football conference, I just assume the few decent teams in it are in some nebulous part of the ACC.  Either way hope its a good game and I hope South Florida loses because hey, fuck Florida.

FRIDAY:
West Virginia @ Cincy: A big game for #5 Cincy.  A win over WV will do a lot to settle some pollsters over how good they are and set up a huge showdown with Pitt at the end of the year (in only 2 weeks, fuck!). West Virginia hasn’t had a bad season itself with two losses but should be outgunned in this one, particularly with Cincy’s stud QB, Tony Pike back in action.  Still would love to have a game to answer who is the best team even just in Ohio.  An end of year showdown with the buckeyes is fun to think about even if it is impossible.

SATURDAY:
Tennessee @ Ole Miss: A mid-level SEC fight that should be interesting.  Tennessee has been a different team since the Auburn loss and Ole Miss is right there at least record wise.  An early game but it will be nice to see some SEC ball that doesn’t involve ‘Bama or Florida.  The conference title game may already be wrapped up but still some solid games left in the middle.  Also Tennessee might be a little bit distracted. “Three Tennessee Players Arrested, Charged with Armed Robbery”, http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=4647094.  My favorite part “At least one of the players arrested was wearing some type of Tennessee gear during the attempted robbery, according to police.”  At least you know Kiffin isn’t too worried about his recruits being scholars to play for Tennessee.

Iowa @ Ohio St: With a win over Iowa Buckeye fans can once again book their flights to Southern California to gawk at the skinny, attractive, plastic-surgery blessed people while Daniel may make the trip down to mock them for their pastiness. Iowa’s QB Stanzi is out, just had ankle surgery, so Iowa will depend on the more skittish backup.  Not that it matters, it will still probably be a close game because Jim Tressel plays offense like he has a limited amount of points to score in his lifetime and Iowa plays everyone tough.

Nebraska @ Kansas: The Big 12 is messed up enough with Oklahoma’s crapped bed of a season that Nebraska can still have a shot at the conference title if it wins out to make it to the Big 12 championship game even with its 3 not-so-hot losses.  Kansas has been on a 4 game skid so the game could go either way.  Kansas’ QB Reesing looked a lot better last year and at the beginning of the season now he looks like Rex Grossman on New Years Eve.

Stanford @ USC: Does the transitive property of mathematics apply to College Football?  If A > B, and B > C, then A > C, right?  Ummmm, usually not.  Here’s a real world test.  Oregon smoked USC 2 weeks ago, Stanford pounded Oregon the following week.  Now we get to see Stanford play USC.  It’s rare to see such a pure 3 way test like this, so it will be an interesting matchup for the Pac-10.  Go “insert Stanford’s mascot“!!!

Utah @ TCU: Best or at least most interesting matchup of the week.  It’s a big game for TCU to prove itself against a tough Utah defense.  Should be very physical, probably low scoring.  You never know with Utah, remember the bowl game against ‘Bama last year… Those Horned Frogs better come ready to play, I think they will.

Notre Dame @ Pittsburgh: Charlie Weis is so fucked. The once buttercup ND schedule is now looking ferocious.  After the loss to Navy, this week against an at least formidable Pitt team and then closing out the season at Stanford… I hope Charlie brings some lube to his meeting with the AD (who may also be a priest…DoubleTrouble!).  ND again has at least twice the talent as their opponent this week, but that hasn’t mattered for very much.  Their best hope is that their stud WR gets back into a groove.

Texas Tech @ Oklahoma St: An interesting mid-level Big 12 matchup to put a smooth but refreshing finish on the evening.  Expect points, lots of points.

Happy viewing!

Full-size and personal Mancave viewing schedule:

USF at Rutgers	ESPN HD	Nov 12 2009 6:30PM
West Virginia at Cincinnati	ESPN2 HD	Nov 13 2009 7:00PM
Tennessee at Ole Miss	CBS HD	Nov 14 2009 11:00AM
Iowa at Ohio St.	ABC HD/ESPN2	Nov 14 2009 2:30PM
Nebraska at Kansas	ABC HD	Nov 14 2009 2:30PM
Stanford at USC	FSN HD	Nov 14 2009 2:30PM
Utah at TCU	CBS College HD	Nov 14 2009 6:30PM
Notre Dame at Pittsburgh	ABC HD	Nov 14 2009 7:00PM
Texas Tech at Oklahoma St.	ABC HD	Nov 14 2009 7:00PM

Week Diez-CFB- Things are starting to heat up and the BCS didn’t bring any Gold Bond

Wanted to write out a whole rant about how silly it is that everyone has Texas at number one when their body of work this season has been against a bunch of directional colleges in Texas and two perennially strong teams that have done nothing but shit the bed in 2009.  But once I spewed out the rest of this email I realized it was already Tolstoy-esque long and needed no further useless verbiage.  On that note, I’ll get to the games.  Some pretty sexy matchups this week, make sure you’re not in public if you are wearing sweatpants, could get awkward…

FRIDAY NIGHT:
Boise State @ LA Tech: If Boise State is going to lose in the regular season this is probably your last remaining best bet.  It’s pathetic to say but lowly LA Tech is probably the best of their remaining opponents.  A lot of people will be rooting for an upset just to make things work out smoother for the BCS which would be fucked by several undefeated mid-conference teams.  While I would usually pull for an upset.  I say fuck it, I hope Boise State wins out and it all goes to hell.  I want to see a great game as much as anyone but I’ll also enjoy watching the BCS committee look like a bunch of assholes come December.

SATURDAY:
Northwestern @ Iowa: Iowa does not dominate people. The only team they actually pounded this year was Iowas State in week one and Sr. Billy Williams could have been calling the plays in that one and the outcome wouldn’t have been all that different.  They have been playing up and down to the level of their competition all year, no reason to think that will change this week. Coach Fitz will get those nerds at Northwestern fired up and I think (hope) it will at least be a decent game.

Navy @ Notre Dame: Navy has 3 losses (Ohio State, Pitt and Temple) none of which are actually that bad. Pitt is a one-loss team, Ohio State is Ohio State and Navy played them tough, and Temple has been on a 6 game miracle tear.  I’m not trying to say that Navy matches up well in this game, far from it. Notre Dame has infinitely better athletes.  But Navy isn’t looking as bad as usual this year and ND has played in lots of tight ones.  It’s at least worth monitoring on gamecast.

LSU @ Alabama: Thanks to the at-times pitiful Alabama offense (read QB) this could actually be a good one. LSU is another team that has played up or down to their level of competition, and Les Miles is always dangerous in the big games.  Saban on the other hand what could easily be one of the most talented teams in the country yet still hasn’t figured out that he can use his badass jet-fueled RB Ingram in the Red Zone.  ‘Bama’s offense can dominate but only on the back of Ingram.  The more Saban tries to mix it up with the passing game the more inept the offense will look.  Either way, don’t expect many points.

Ohio State @ Penn State: This one was THE best game of year in the Big Ten last year and it looks to be shaping up as another good one.  Most of the experts are picking Penn State but that is mainly because they are single-neuron twats who pick games by choosing the team with the highest ranking and saying “but it could be close” if the teams are within 5 spots.  I think the game is a complete toss-up that will depend more on the performance of the QBs (especially Pryor for OSU) than anything else.  Clark has been tearing things up for Penn State, pretty sick accuracy stats, and both defenses have played well in the past few weeks. The biggest question for me is if Penn State has really been tested.  Their one loss is to Iowa (undefeated but immeasurably scrappy), their biggest win so far is probably against Michigan…not exactly a great foundation for your reputation.  This will be the game where we get to see if JoePa is fielding a real team this year.

Oregon @ Stanford: Could be looking for a letdown from Oregon here after the magical and arousing beatdown they put on USC last week.  Stanford has some decent talent but nowhere near the depth and breadth of Oregon, which is one of the most exciting squads to watch.  Will have to see if Mixed Martial Artist Lagarette “Rampage” Blount gets reinstated to play and what shape he will be in. His performance against Boise wasn’t impressive but the whole team played like shit that game.  If he comes back on a tear, Oregon will be the one-loss team to watch out for in the BCS.

Oklahoma @ Nebraska: A second level but still interesting Big 12 matchup.  Nebraska was hot earlier in the year and Oklahoma has to be handing out Prozac with the protein shakes to players after the train wreck of a season they are having.  If you want to watch a defensive struggle, this is it.

***New guy on the list this week, Adam.  Who was approved on a probation basis after his own request to get in on the fun despite having once uttered the line “I’m just not that into College Football…”  Blasphemy!  and yes, College Football should always be in Caps.***

TV/Slingbox Schedule-All times Central

Boise St. at LA Tech	ESPN2 HD	FRIDAY-Nov 6 2009 7:00PM
Northwestern at Iowa	ESPN HD	SATURDAY- 11:00AM
Navy at Notre Dame	NBC HD	Nov 7 2009 1:30PM
LSU at Alabama	CBS HD	Nov 7 2009 2:30PM
Ohio St. at Penn St.	ABC HD/ESPN	Nov 7 2009 2:30PM
Oregon at Stanford	FSN HD	Nov 7 2009 2:30PM
Oklahoma at Nebraska	ABC HD	Nov 7 2009 7:00PM

Week 9 -CFB- A Bolivian Beauty Contest

This is a pretty tough year to get a good grip on.  There hasn’t been anyone team that has looked fantastic or dominant throughout the season.  Last year you had several in Florida, Alabama, Oklahoma, Texas, and while with the exception of OK all those teams look to be on the top of the heap, they also look very mortal.  In the SEC in particular it may just be saying more about the quality of the middle teams in the conference but not many of the big games have even looked that polished.  If things stay as they are I’d say Alabama has the best chance of making it out of the SEC by beating Florida to go to the championship.  But that has more to do with the fact that Nick Saban and ‘Bama fans get hardons over the 9-7 defensive slugouts that seem to be the SEC’s trend this year whereas Florida under Meyer has always been more shock and awe offense.  The Big 12 is an unimpressive heap, the Pac 10 looks interesting with the Lazarus-like Oregon Ducks and this week will be a big shoot out for them.  As for the Big Ten…Iowa?  Fuck, who knows?  They win ugly but they do win, may be good enough to win the Big Ten this year.  I still think Penn State is a poser this year.

Interesting matchups, not all that many this week.

Ole Miss @ Auburn: Auburn should play the Rebels pretty tough at home. Should be a pretty solid middleweight SEC matchup that noone in the Midwest will be able to watch.

Florida “@” Georgia: World’s largest cocktail party will interesting if Florida’s offense stays in the state of hibernation it has been in and Georgia pulls ADHD-rattled act together for 60 minutes.   When was Tebow’s concusion?  4 weeks ago?  I’d say it’s about time for him to start firing on all cylinders and neurons again.  Personally, I think Florida may come out big in this one.

South Carolina @ Tennessee: Tennessee has been playing like a completely different team in comparison to 3 weeks ago and South Carolina is another middle weight.  Could be a good one if the Vols don’t have a let down after last weeks heartbreaking loss.

Texas @ Oklahoma State: For some reason this game is getting lots of hype.  Yea, OkSt only has 1 loss (to Houston) but they haven’t played anyone and the Big 12 isn’t exactly the most challenging conference this year.  Personally, I’m still not very impressed by how Texas has been playing this year so I guess this one could go either way but it looks to be a snoozer.

USC @ Oregon: Easily the best matchup of the day.  I don’t know what the Pac 10 situation is exactly but regardless of the current rankings these are its two best teams.  Oregon has been on fire the past 4 weeks and USC has looked good but iffy at times.  It’ll be a big one so we know that Pete Carroll will have his guys ready to play with Will Ferrel cracking jokes and Charlize Theron giving HJs on the sidelines but the Ducks have been playing angry ever since that first loss (one could even say “LeGarrette Blount angry” * <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGTYiCqzpcw>
Should be a good one.

TV & Slingbox Viewery

Ole Miss at Auburn	SEC Network HD	Oct 31 2009 11:00AM
Florida vs. Georgia (at Jacksonville, FL)	CBS HD	Oct 31 2009 2:30PM
South Carolina at Tennessee	ESPN HD	Oct 31 2009 6:45PM
Texas at Oklahoma St.	ABC HD/ESPN2 HD	Oct 31 2009 7:00PM
USC at Oregon	ABC HD/ESPN2 HD	Oct 31 2009 7:00PM